this weekend i went away with the army to a Discovery Weekend. basically, a group of young adults from around london north east army met up to be led and taught about how to discover our purpose. to be honest, i found it rather frustrating. it was a great weekend. i enjoyed the teaching and more, the fellowship. i think i made some really positive relationship, but when it comes to discovering my purpose i want to go urgh!! what have i been tryin to do for the last 3 years!! please dont misunderstand me, i appreaciate the time and effort people invest in me to help me, but i just wish that if someone knew, they would sit down and tell me what to do. i'm not getting very far trying to discover it on my own. i know that thats the whole point. its a journey, its about getting there on your own- but how long does that take? i trust God. i know that there is a plan. i know that i'm going the right way- i just wish i knew where that was. i think i'm my own worst enemy. i think. alot. i start a log flume of thoughts and if i dont like where its heading i cant just stop and get off. i have to go with it. i got wondering if there is anything left to do. are all the resources used up now. is it all just the same method. flogging a dead horse. but then again, the message has been the same for 2000 years- whats wrong with things being the same. but then, where do i fit. if i'm made to be unique to have an individual relationship with God then surely i should push some boundaries. but i feel like the world is an arena surrounding me. the boundaries are set. the land's been used up. theres no where left to go. but maybe thats the point, its about new men not new methods. you see why i have a confused face?!?! i dont know. i'll get there some day.. the splash that marks the end of the track. the final discovery. drenched with potential.