i havent blogged for a little while and i havent actually done much. well, i lie. i have done 2 exams, finished my first year at uni and moved out of halls and spent a weekend in portugal. The latter was very fun and hot, the first was slight sad- 3 and a half months till i'm back with all my friendly's again but never mind. i'm working all summer to keep me busy. but anyway, amongst all this nothingness stuff i have had 2 deep insights. i know, i here you oooo-ing in my general direction. Firstly, i was watchin E.R. great programme. unless you dont watch it, i'll fill you in on a guy called Carter- who has, for the last few series actually been spending most of his life in different parts of Africa doing charity medical work etc. it strikes me that the writers of this programme are trying to make a point. tryin to show us that something can and should be done. but this is what i thought- please go with me. 'i dont understand why all this stuff happens. i dont understand how people live in such extreme poverty. but maybe i'm not meant to. maybe there aren't any answers. maybe i'm aksin the wrong questions. maybe i'm spending too much time asking and answering that i am failing to do what is actually needed- action!'. i do nothing. and its shameful. i know what needs to be done, and me of all people (my dad works for emergency and disaster releif) should know that ordinary peopl can and should make a difference. but i dont. and its selfish. and the reason i dont is laziness. because it all seems like too much effort for reward that in reality i will never see or feel. i want to help, no, more i want to know i've helped but it actually means gettin off my arse and doin it rather than questioning it. i am determined to act.
my second insight: everything, absolutely everthing i have seen recently (ie problems in society, relationships, the universe!) are due to lack of self respect. self respect leads people to slef worth therefore in valuing themselves they teach others that they are of value. if people valued themselves we would have no abusive relationships, no people forced into sitations they dont like so they end up 'freeing' themselves with drugs and alcohol, we would have no petty crimes and vandalism. people would want to achieve somethin with their lives because they deserve to achieve something with their lives. i am going to work hard and do the best i can do because i owe it to myself to do that. if everything had that same self respect the world would be a better place. wot you think?