Feeling rather run down at the end of today.
Some thoughts i had in a lecture after a bizarre conversation:
I worry about me sometimes,i worry what people think of me. I probably worry what people think of me far too much. I just dont want people to thinkthat i'm melodramatic, or dishonest, or shallow or attention seeking.But i worry that i am actually all of those things. I just need to laugh. There are so many things in my heart and my head that just cant be explained. They are for me- they make me becky.Its just easier to laugh and be happy then explain my thoughts away.
I worry that people think i dont care- especially about Chris. I do. I love him. I need him. He makes me not worry. He makes me feel like i havent failed and that even if i had it wouldnt matter. He makes me content to be me.
So, now at the end of the day and feeling a bit better. I feel like i'm getting there. I dont feel perfect about things but i'm never going to feel perfect all the time. I'm traveling the twin peaks of sucess and sorrow- but i can handle that. It'll be ok.
"Human kindness is overflowing, but i think its going to rain today."
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