My mind is clogged with emotions and arguments, though I have no words to tell of them. I wish someone else would say how I felt, the ways songs have the ability to tap into the longings you didn't realise you needed to articulate. I need a more eloquent voice than mine to elucidate my frustrations. I need to know that I am not stood in 'the hallway' on my way. Neither in one place or another but the often frequented and rarely appreciated no-man's-land between life's 'rooms'. How did I become so cynical? So predisposed to judgement? Is it simply because things have got worse, that previously there was little to be cynical about? Or has life unearthed in me the darker side of my nature, that would rather revel in people's faults and hypocrisies than choose to view the brighter, lighter side of life?
Did Church fail me or did I fail Church? Did God fail me? Did either or both, or perhaps I let go of the propensity to try and failed myself?
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
As much as I am opposed to much of Augustinian theology – I think I am more like him than I would like to admit.
I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to make the effort. I’m happy living like a pig in swill. Maybe one day it’ll catch up with me. But today I feel good, I thank God for my happiness and I put off the inevitable as I pray “Make me pure Lord, but not yet.”
I have not blogged in ages - this is because
I have nothing to say.
Partly, this worries me because having something to say is often a sign that you are working,
evolving,
questioning,
involved.
I have nothing to say.
Partly, this comforts me because it means I am not at odds with the world,
or with myself.
I have no need to argue.
However, there is lots I could argue with you about, if you would like?
Part of me misses the fight - it often teaches you more when you thought you already knew the answers.
Part of me is glad for the respite - I do not need to worry that I am on the wrong side,
or going to offend,
or take offence.
Deep down, I am glad I was able to shake hands, make peace and walk away blessed.
Deep down, I miss being fist to fist, skin to skin.
Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.
