This is a very honest post. I found these lyrics:
Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces
lyrics by anna nalick
Dont panic- i'm not having a big emotional break down or anything, its the first part that caught me. 'Thinking about calling on Jesus'. I think thats my problem- i don't. i am in the process of writing my own doctrines- or i was before finishing uni for christmas. some of you are probably thinking- What?! but i needed to write my own- a list of the things i believe to be true. As a pluralist (again, i hear another gasp) and a person interested in spiritulity, i think that there is more to God then what we know and the way the Bible interprets it- or more the way we interpret the Bible. I am trying to write a deep theological statement on the rights or wrongs of religous pluarlism, biblical interpretation or cherry picking faith. But the truth is, i have made it my life to try and debate God, but how much do i even bother to talk to Him? very little. not because i find it hard but because i cant be bothered. i know its beneficial, i know it means alot, i know it would make my spiritual life better, but recently i just havent bothered. i think part of the problem is that i have opened my mind to the idea of God so much- being so big- that i have lost the personal. i'm not on the brink of a crisis- and whether you agree with my spirituality or not- please believe me when i say that. i'm not looking for a solution because i know what i have to do- just put in a bit of effort. it just feels like hard work to being with. I want to know God so much, i really do, i ache to understand him and have others get what i see God to be- but it just takes so much darned effort. looks like i have some catching up to do!
1 comments:
- At 4:21 AM Roro said...
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i wrote those exact same lyrics on my blog recently. was going through a bit of the same thing you were . . . not calling on God. but He was calling me. and He has called me into deeper intimacy with Him. if you want to know God more and know Him more personally, read song of songs. i'm reading mike bickells 'the bride of Christ'. it'a a verse by verse interpretation of the chapter. it's done me tons of good.
serioulsy, call on Him. it will do you tons of good.
keep up the good fight, sis!